


In Which The Crystal Gems Get Even More Teammates (Kinda)

by Dark Automaton (0Dark_Automaton0)



Category: Homestuck, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Aliens, Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Culture Shock, Everyone Is Alive, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Karkat's trying to figure out what quadrants the gems are in, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Quadrant Confusion, eri's got a crush, none of this is in any particular order, poor kevin's got a secret admirer, the gems are even more confused than usual, the human kids aren't much better, the trolls prove to be a steady source of wtf for everyone else
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-26 14:44:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7578166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0Dark_Automaton0/pseuds/Dark%20Automaton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Game has ended, the players end up arriving at Beach City. Shenanigans promptly ensue, including shipping, meager attempts at explaining things that were perfectly normal on their Earth, and yet another matriarch the Trolls have to deal with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Karkat: Confront the Douchebag

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't in any particular order, sorry. I would call it a series of drabbles had it not been for the fact that I am basically incapable of typing less than 800 words at a time. Most of this is inspired by what I come across on Tumblr, so be warned, it gets weird.  
> Enjoy!

Karkat had had enough. This "Kevin" dude was just fucking asking for trouble, pretending he was hot shit in front of people he doesn't know. It was like one of those asshole highbloods who pretended to be cool, but were really about as fucking nuts as any other blueblooded nutjob. The mutant troll grabbed the human boy by the sleeve of his no doubt expensive jacket, tearing slight rips with the tips of his claws. They needed to talk.

"Dude, hey, watch it!" Kevin yelped, getting dragged to the other side of the gaudy yellow vehicle the human was so damn proud of. Karkat looked him dead in the eye, not even bothering with the sunglasses provided by Mr. Universe. Bright cherry red rimmed his irises, and reflected in the low light of the isolated hangout spot. The end effect made it look as if his pupils glowed like hellish lights, a fact that Kevin thankfully wasn't dumb enough to comment on. The troll began, trying to whisper and yet still sounding like he was shouting,

"Dude, I don't know what the fuck your problem is, but you need to stop while you've still got a head."

"I don't get what the big deal is, little guy. I'm just out here, having a little fun," Kevin said, crossing his arms and looking down his nose at Karkat. The troll growled, literally,

"You fucking idiot. Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you're in?!"

"You don't scare me," Kevin rolled his eyes, "You're barely five feet tall, counting your tiny horns."

"Fuck you. I'm trying to save your life here, dumbass," Karkat said, back to his usual tone, "With how you're acting, one of my friends is gonna notice, and the end result isn't going to be pretty."

"Just get on with it, then."

"Look, there's this thing in our culture called 'Kismesitude.' We consider it a type of romance, of which we have a total of four types but I'm not going to get into those-"

"So you're saying one of your buddies has a crush on me?" Kevin asked smugly, and Karkat outright smacked him for the interruption,

"Shut the fuck up and listen, you grubsucking twat! As I was saying, Kismesitude is when two trolls are in an intimate relationship based on _hate_. Not your pathetic 'Oh I don't like this guy' hate, but I mean 'This bastard is just asking for a beatdown, and I'm happy to deliver.' Thank god you idiots don't have it, because you don't have the regenerative abilities to survive the kind of shit people in a Caliginous relationship do to each other."

"Dude, ow! You're pretty strong for a borderline midget-" Karkat kicked Kevin's shin for that one, "Ow. How the heck can this 'Kisnemesis' thing or whatever be a kind of romance with you people, anyways?"

"It's one of the Quadrants that involves sex," Karkat said bluntly, "The kind that's so violent and bloody, they need stunt-doubles for sex scenes in movies."

The horrified look on Kevin's face pretty much said it all, "Holy shit."

"Holy shit is right, fuckass. And right now you've got maybe two or three trolls over there that are giving you the deathglare, and unless you get your shit together and get packing, you might just wind up with a heaping helping of Caliginous crush. And goddamn, do we do stupid shit when we have those."

Five minutes later, and Kevin was speeding away with a look that summed up his thoughts on this whole ordeal, "Nope."

Steven and Connie walked up to the now smiling Karkat in awe. Steven said, "Wow, all it took was you talking to him?"

"Yep!" Karkat said proudly, "He just needed some convincing."

"Yeah..." Steven said, before Connie butted in, "You do realize you said all of that pretty loudly, right?"

Karkat's face fell like a mug being smashed on the floor, "What."

"Oh, right, everybody heard you," Steven grinned, "And saw you slap Kevin. It was _awesome_."

"I got it on video!" Jenny called out, messing with her phone, likely posting it somewhere. Karkat gulped. It was only a matter of minutes until the Crystal Gems found out what he just let out in front of a bunch of humans, especially Steven. Vriska snickered from their own little circle, "Hahahahahahahaha, 'Oh shit' is right, Karkles!"


	2. Arrival

“What in the world...” Pearl muttered, gazing at the forms littered across the field. They were many in numbers, perhaps thirty or so in total, and clearly humanoid. Eight of them looked human, albeit in odd colorful clothing that looked like fantasy-themed pajamas, but the rest were clearly not. The gray-skinned ones had red and gold horns firmly attached to their skulls, and the green-skinned one looked as if they had a skull for a face.

This was weird, even by the Gem's standards.

Garnet and Pearl carefully laid out the beings in rows of four and five, and began taking note of their condition. They were alive, judging by the rise and fall of their chests. Their faces indicated youth, almost all of them being adolescents. Pearl made a face at some of their appearances; some wore clothes much too... revealing for human minors. Regardless if she had seen younger-looking gems wear less, under no circumstances did she think it was appropriate for a teenage boy to wear a freaking _speedo_ for his pajamas.

Amethyst was busy talking to Peridot, and to a lesser extent Lapis, since they had witnessed their “arrival.” The short green gem was gesturing wildly,

“They appeared out of some sort of hole in time-space. I've never seen anything like it. As much as Homeworld's technology has advanced, sudden apparition into another place without some means of transport as a warp pad is absolutely impossible, if at least unlikely-”

“Dude,” Amethyst sighed, before Lapis had unexpectedly spoke,

“The thing was in the shape of a spirograph. It appeared, these guys fell out, and it disappeared. That's all we know.”

“Uh, what's a spirograph?” Steven asked, rolling the unfamiliar word on his tongue. It was kind of fun to say. Lapis blinked, and Peridot answered, “It's a geometric pattern of lines in a circular shape.”

“Oh, cool!” Steven said, looking out at the field. It wasn't too far from the barn, he noticed. " _Maybe they'd sensed the gems here and came looking for help?_  " The boy pondered, turning his stare to the kids. They _definitely_ wouldn't fit in the barn.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief bit about how they got there, sort of...


	3. Arrival: Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Managed to get my writing flow going for a direct sequel for the last chapter. Enjoy.

The first of the kids to wake up was John. His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton to the point it was bursting out his ears, muffling any sound he heard. He put a hand to his head, inadvertently smudging the glasses on his face, and tried to sit up with a groan. Two voices spoke,

“One of them woke up!”

“About time, I was getting tired of babysitting.”

The shock of the unfamiliar voices made John jump, his head suddenly clearing. Two women, one short and _purple_ and the other tall and whiter than Doc Scratch text, were in the room. John had no idea how long it had been since he's seen somebody outside of his fellow Sburb players and his dad. He muttered,

“This is so weird, so _so_ weird...”

The taller woman approached him, carefully stepping around and over the other kids that had been laid out on the floor of the small home. John's eyes bulged when he began recognizing the faces and horns, and the woman walked over even faster,

“Don't move.”

“Where am I?” John demanded, making an attempt to stand, “Who are you?”

The woman gripped his shoulder like a firm vice, and kept him sitting, “It's too crowded in here to go standing and walking around just yet. We needed to get you out of the open before we start investigating.”

“You're in Beach City, if it helps,” another voice chimed in, this time coming from an upstairs platform. John looked up to see a young chubby boy, probably a few years younger than himself. John nodded, “Yeah, thanks. Um, I'm John.”

“I'm Steven, Steven Universe,” The boy cheerfully replied, and pointed to the women, “Those are Pearl and Amethyst. We found you guys near our friend's barn.”

“We didn't have enough room in the barn itself to keep you all there, and I don't believe Lapis can handle any more roommates,” The tall one, Pearl, chuckled. John smiled a little, “If it helps any, I think we can make our own housing when we're all up and about.”

“'Make' your own home?” The purple woman, Amethyst, questioned, “Uh, you guys look a little young to be building houses, ya know.”

“Oh yeah,” John waved it off, “We're pretty young to do a lot of what we've done, don't worry about it.”

“We are more or less obligated to,” Pearl said, “We're the defenders of the Earth, and you lot are something we have never encountered before.”

A raspy groan from a few rows down broke the conversation, “Fuck...”

John chuckled, in contrast to the shocked and surprised expressions on the new people's faces, “Looks like Karkat's awake.”

The smaller nub-horned troll blinked hard, turning to the commotion, “John? Why is everybody unconscious on the floor?”

“I-uh, don't really know,” John admitted, laughing nervously, “I think we just entered a new universe. Everybody seems to be alive, though!”

\---

As this “Karkat” kid began looking around more clearly, Pearl could see the sharpened teeth and elliptical irises that cemented his species as being clearly 'not human.' Frankly, the Gem race had not truly encountered other intelligent life outside of humanity, and to encounter yet another species with the same basic structure of gems was making absolutely no sense.

Upon further inspection, he had horns much like those seen on the others of his kind, though much smaller and blunter. The spiky black hair on his head didn't do much to help that. He didn't look too fierce, but the Gems could easily assume that the others were much more so. Some even had visible battle scars of their faces, necks, and hands. Pearl took note of that, when it was a good time to start the questioning.

The warp pad glowed, signaling Garnet's arrival, as she had to make sure there were no more unconscious teens left behind. The fusion paused for a moment, taking a look at the two awake strangers. She didn't exactly like some of the possible futures lying ahead, but it seems they're on one of the less violent ones. There was a reason she had left both Pearl and Amethyst there.

The two stranger boys looked at her, both having to crane their necks to look at her face. The human of the two smiled, “Whoa, sweet shades.”

“I know,” Garnet smiled back, adjusting the aforementioned glasses. She'd never quite seen a human with such blue eyes before; from the afternoon light pouring in, they almost looked as if they were glowing. Garnet went back to her usual expression, or lack thereof,

“Might as well begin with the questions, now that you two are awake.”

“How do you know that?” the gray one asks, pretty loudly, Garnet noticed. She kind of hoped he didn't talk like that all the time, it couldn't have been good for his throat. Garnet replied with, “I know a lot of things; let's leave it at that. For starters, who are you?”

“I'm John Egbert,” the human boy replies, and jabs a thumb in the other boy's direction, “And that's Karkat Vantas. He's a troll, and I'm a human.”

“The others can introduce themselves when they get off their asses,” Karkat said casually, not noticing the sharp breath from Pearl, “That's about – what – twenty-nine names? Can't list them all without wearing my shout sphincter down.”

“You mind toning down the language?” Garnet asked, “Pearl looks like she's about to have a heart attack.”

The boys looked at Pearl, who indeed did look scandalized, and Karkat winced, “Alright alright, I'll chill. Sorry, I kind of forget that that's considered rude in some places.”

“Next question,” Pearl interjected, not wanting to get side-tracked, “Where are you from?”

“I'm from Alternia, along with most of us younger trolls,” Karkat gestured to the smaller set of the gray children, “The bigger ones are from Beforus, and the humans are from two different Earths. We're not sure exactly where Calliope came from.”

Garnet took a closer look at the odd one out, the green child. The dapper little skull child with the bright green cheeks that looked like the markings on a doll. That must have been Calliope.

“Judging by the fact that we've never seen someone who is literally purple, nor a woman with a stone lodged in her forehead,” John deduced, “I kind of doubt we know what you are either.”

“We're gems,” Garnet said, before Pearl could protest. At the boy's confused expressions, Amethyst elaborated, “We're rock people, basically.”

“You mean to tell me you guys are humanoid embodiments of minerals?” Karkat said disbelievingly, “How?! That makes no sense!”

“Uh, we kind of have met weirder,” John mentioned, “Remember the whole bit about Cherubs being like 'the embodiment of the balance between good and evil' or whatever?”

“And what are those?” Pearl asked, and John shrugged, “Calliope's one.”

Garnet pulled them back on topic, “What did you mean by 'two different Earths?'”

“Oh,” John began, before his face degraded into a grimace, “It's kind of really hard to explain.”

“We have time.”

“Well, okay.

“A long time ago, the alpha trolls,” John gestured to the larger of the troll teens, who were noticeably older than the others, “Began a session of a game called Sgrub. What they didn't know was that it would alter reality and both create and kill them. They didn't win, but they did reset the game, which in turn began the beta session.”

“That's where me and my team come in,” Karkat took over, “The reset really screwed up our planet in the process. In order to make sure that it would be more successful, the game made it to where the First Guardian, a reality-warping fiend designed to help the game along, would fiddle with our history. The end result was a violent hell of a society, where people would be culled for the color of their blood on a regular basis, and anybody who did not contribute to the population after conscription was killed.

“It did work; we all were killing machines by the time we came along. We managed to band together and beat the game, but we were ripped from our prize after a monster from _his_ session,” he jabbed a claw in John's direction, “came in and wrecked the place, forcing us to evacuate before we could claim our prize.”

“And what would that be?” Pearl asked, and Karkat puffed out his chest,

“An entire new universe to rule over as gods.”

“Woah, what kind of game gives those types of prizes?” Steven had stars in his eyes, but they fell out when John amended,

“Ones that decimate your homeplanet and kill off all but the players. Seriously, the trolls were an interplanetary empire before they got annihilated by the Reckoning, and with the help of that horrorterror thing that apparently raised one of the beta trolls.”

“Her name was Gl'bgolyb. She was like a giant mass of angry tentacles and beaks the size of a city, and a voice that could literally kill millions with just a harsh whisper.”

The two did not like the horrified faces the Gems were making. This was just getting more and more concerning by the second. John cleared his throat, and continued the story,

“So yeah, that happened. Then our session began, with me, Jade, Rose, and Dave. We also didn't know what the game would do to our planet until it was too late. We did try to stop it, but we were kinda doomed from the get go. We were in what was called a Null Session; we weren't going to succeed on our own. All we could do was get the preparations done for the post-Scratch session, or the one after our reset, and get out of there with our Skaia. If we had stayed, we would have been basically deleted from existence.”

“From there, the alpha humans had their session, which is a whole 'nother can of dirt noodles. The Her Imperious Condescension from Alternia, the sadistic tyrant of our people after the reset, had been enslaved by a universe-destroying monster called 'Lord English.' She wound up getting sent to their post-Scratch timeline, where she basically took over Earth, ran the human race into the ground, and flooded the planet.”

The Crystal Gems could not contain the looks of horror and disgust at that, but Karkat kept going,

“Of course, they had a Void Session, which allowed for the Skaia of John's Null one to get placed in there, allowing for us to claim our prize and win the game.”

“Or so we thought,” John sighed, “We wound up having to battle Lord English and his lackeys before we could do what we needed to, since they'd taken over important places in the game. We did take them down, but a lot of us died in the Game. We didn't think that they'd come back, and to be honest, we had no idea where the door would have taken us.”

“Looks like it was here, huh?” Karkat rubbed the back of his head, not sure what to say.

It was a long, awkward, and uncomfortable silence, before Steven asked, “Um, well, you're here now. And you are all alive, from what I can see. So that's... _something_ , right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” John smiled, flashing his overbite, “Guess we've gotta wait for the others before we head out to spot out somewhere to stay.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, me and Karkat are the friend-leaders. If these guys were left alone with each other, they'd go nuts. Especially the Alpha trolls.”

“What's wrong with them?” Amethyst asked. Karkat shrugged, “Most of them are total jokes of trolls. They can't fight, they can't cooperate, and they can't even keep a stable healthy Quadrant!”

“That's a little harsh,” Steven said, but Karkat was adamant, “Oh ho ho, you've never met them, really. They spent billions of years in a repeating afterlife stuck with alternate versions of their jerk friends, none of them are exactly entirely sane. The only one who isn't like that is Meenah, and that's mostly because she was unconscious for most of it, and even then she is admittedly a bit violent.”

“Aw come on, she can't be that bad!”

“She is literally the alternate timeline version of Her Imperious Condescension, just younger, a bit more stable, and with a lot less ridiculous hair and jewelry.”

“What.”

Karkat, realizing what he just said, slapped a palm on his face, “Oh bother...”

 


	4. A Much Needed Talk

“Come on, fuse with me,” Jasper was on her knees, begging Lapis, “We were so much more as Malachite. Bigger, stronger – we could fly!”

“No!” Lapis said, tugging her hands, “I was terrible to you! I – I tortured you, and I hated you!”

Of all the shit Eridan was expecting on this little cruise, he was not expecting a sudden black lovers quarrel. He could not believe what he was hearing; no amount of melodramatic blackrom movies could convince somebody that trapping another under the entire ocean was a healthy Caliginous relationship. He had been told by the gems that Lapis had been stuck down there for months on end, but he was never told she was the _jailer_.

Then he felt it, the urge to step in. Like Kanaya on one of her motherly moods, step in he did. Jasper and Lapis were forced apart by a pair of small, yet surprisingly strong clawed hands. Eridan stood between them, holding their shoulders at arm's length. Jasper did not recognize the short gray alien with the questionable fashion sense, but Lapis did, and she decided against simply ripping her shoulder from his grip, if only because he got her away from Jasper. He was yelling,

“Alright, cut the shit!”

Feferi helped Steven up, the young boy looking on in confusion, “What is he doing?”

“I... think he's Auspisticizing them.”

The boy gave the seadweller princess a glance, and she elaborated, “It's the Ashen quadrant; the one where one person keeps two others from going overboard into an unhealthy Kismesisstude?”

“ _OH_. But isn't Lapis-”

“Steven, if you haven't noticed, she has outright admitted to torturing Jasper,” the girl gave him a flat look, “From what I can sea, neither of those two is in the right. They won't be able to work this out on their own, because they're broken and stubborn. And no Crystal Gem could keep them from inevitably tearing each other to bits; you're all kind of bassed.”

“What.”

“Biased.”

“Hey, we try,” Steven pouted a little, watching the other seadweller chew the two gems out on the deck. They seemed to have calmed down a little, not grabbing or glaring at each other. Eridan began pulling them to a more private space, the ship's control room, “Okay, you twwo, come on. Wwe can't make anymore a scene out here; Fef and her wwiggler buddy are starin'.”

“Wait, where are we going?” Lapis asked worriedly, and Eridan replied,

“To talk this out in privvate, like sensible people. Jegus christ, do they not have Moirails or mediators on your planet?”

The three disappeared behind the wall, and Greg came running out, “What happened?!”

“Oh, uh, Jasper jumped on board,” Steven nervously started, cringing at his father's expression of fear. Feferi butted in, “But! It's alright! Eridan's keeping her and Lapis from krilling each other. Hopefully he's learned a thing or two about Auspisticizing from Kanaya...”

“Is this another troll thing I've gotta keep an eye on?” Greg sighed, looking into the interior of the ship. The fish boy was apparently forcing the two to sit down and talk, and Feferi shut the door quickly, “Yep!”

“Let me know when it's a good time to ask,” Greg said, plopping down on one of the chairs, “And I thought getting to know the gems was hard...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't part of the main continuity, if there is one. Just a scenario I thought would have gotten things done a lot quicker.


	5. A Cat's Tale

Amethyst honestly had no idea what to do when the little triangle-horned troll girl began crying when she saw Lion. The purple gem stood helplessly confused as the little alien then proceeded to launch herself into the large pink cat, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him as if her life depended on it. The older girl, the smaller one's “dancestor” as they were called, fell to her knees, gaping at Lion with wide shining eyes.

Amethyst had not an idea what was going on. Yet, Lion didn't seem to mind the troll-girl's hugging and weeping. The girl's sobs began to lessen as Lion started licking at her short scruffy hair, inciting a shocked gasp and a giggle. Amethyst was more than a little weirded out when the two began doing this odd series of chuffing and purring sounds, as if they were communicating in some feral language.

“Uh, is this kind of thing normal on your planet?” she asked nervously.

The older troll girl blinked out of her shock, and said, “Oh, it's just been a while since we've seen our lusii...”

“What's a 'lusii?'” Amethyst asked, rolling the unfamiliar word on her tongue. It sounded about as foreign as those other words they've used, like “mwah-rail” and “mate-sprit.” The troll blinked in confusion, before asking,

“Aren't you and the other gems Steven's lusii? Like, his mentors and protectors?”

“OH, right!” Amethyst clapped a palm on her head at the realization, “That's like the troll version of a parent or guardian. Um... Are they always animals?”

“For trolls, yes,” the troll girl nodded, before wincing, “Wow it's been a long time since I could hear. It's really weird fur me now that our bodies have been healed.”

Amethyst decided to give the younger one and Lion some alone time, and focused on the other, “Really? What's your name?”

“Meulin Leijon,” the troll smiled, in a similar way to how Peridot did, Amethyst noted. It was kind of weird to find even more people whose mouths would cleft like her own sometimes, she was starting to get used to it. Amethyst nodded,

“Everybody calls me Amethyst. So hey, did everybody else get healed when you got here?”

“Oh yeah,” Meulin nodded, “Mituna's brain got unfried, Latula got her sense of smell back, Cronus and Aranea don't need their contact lenses anymore... And Kurloz got his tongue back.”

That last one ended on a weirdly sour note, and Amethyst asked, “Um, is that a bad thing?”

Meulin blinked and shook her head vigorously, “Oh no! It's just that... Well... I'm afuraid he might try to remove it again and sow his mouth shut like last time.”

Amethysts eyes bulged out of their sockets, “WOAH what?! We've got to tell the others!”

“No no! It's fine, efurrybody knows at this point!” Meulin said in a panic, “I don't think they'd let him do it again. Well, I don't think Karkitty will let him do it again, and efurrybody does what he says because he's purrobably Meenah's matesprit. Nobody has the shameglobes to stand up to her.”

“Um, okay, if you say so,” Amethyst said reluctantly, silently putting it in the back of her mind to let Pearl and Garnet know to keep an eye on the knives, “So... Why does Lion remind you of your animal-parents?”

“Oh, that's easy,” Meulin smiled, easily distracted, “Our lusii _were_ lions! Sort of. The purrbeasts on our planet were a lot diffurrent than yours.”

“Like, how?”

“Fur one, they were all white,” Meulin counted off, “Lusii are always completely white in color besides their blood. Second, they had no mane, because they were both girls. Third, they were smaller, maybe about my size. And lastly, and I think most impurrtantly, they had two mouths each!”

“Wait, two-mouthed lions?” Amethyst asked, smiling, “That's kinda sick!”

“Cool, right?” Meulin agreed enthusiastically, “Man, Pounce de Leon was awesome! She could brush my hair with her tongue and meow at the same time!”

“So, what's your uh...” Amethyst stalled on the word, “'dancestor' saying to Lion, anyways? It looks like they're having a conversation.”

“Oh, they're not actually saying anything in purrticular,” Meulin shrugged, “Nepeta's just being affectionate, and Lion must think she smells like a kitten, and gives it right back. It's kind of how lusii choose their charges.”

“By smell?”

Meulin nods, “Mhm! Usually they choose a wiggler by their smell, because it indicates their blood color, and lusii only raise wigglers with their own blood.”

“Ya know... I've heard a lot about blood color and stuff from you guys,” Amethyst said, mouth quirking into an unsure frown, “Do you guys literally have more than one blood color?”

“You don't?” Meulin sounded confused, and Amethyst shrugged.

“Well, to be fair, gems don't have blood, period.” Meulin blinked in surprise. “And humans and most Earth animals have bright red blood. Having more than one color in one species is kind of new to us. What happens if you need a blood donation?”

“We are able to take blood from members of neighboring colors, like me and Nepeta could get blood from the Maryams or even Captors if we needed to. But, it's prefurred that we get blood of our own color, so I guess we would just give it to each other?”

“That's kind of freaky,” Amethyst said, before catching herself, “Eh – No offense.”

Nepeta had stopped messing around with Lion, now opting to rest against his side and use him as one big pillow. The animal simply laid down and outstretched his front legs, looking relaxed. Amethyst commented, “As weird as you guys get, you aren't half bad.”

Meulin smiled, “We apurreciate it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this, everyone's injuries and ailments had been cured as they passed between worlds. This includes not only bringing back the dead, but also placing them at peak health. However, this does not heal mental damage entirely, and the likes of Mituna and Meulin (who have both been seriously effected by powerful physics) do have to work some things out. Had Amethyst not learned what she had during Monster Reunion (about not mocking or mimicking people with abnormal conditions, like the Centipeedles), man, she'd get into hot water with the trolls -fast-.


	6. A Treaty

The line of the organic creatures was long, with ranging in heights, shapes, colors, and odd brightly colored cranial adornments. Blue Pearl gazed curiously at them, unafraid of being caught staring, due to her long bangs. She had never seen such strange aliens, though a decent few were allegedly native to the planet below.

Her Diamond spoke to the beings, her voice firm, “So you have decided to begin your own empire?”

“No,” one of the dark gray-skinned ones with the deeper vocal range said, the one with the short adornments and the gray symbol on his clothing. He and the others of his kind were taller than the average Quartz, and with their sharpened features, they were rather intimidating up close. The humans, though just as soft and frail as the rest of their kind, were not much better. Unlike the smelly creatures with the filmy skin and eerie resemblance to gems, these humans seemed almost a breed higher, like the Diamonds to the rest of mankind's Rubies.

It was a borderline blasphemous comparison, but an accurate one. The creatures speaking to her Diamond were abnormal for organics, and the fact that they had even been permitted to be in her presence to begin with was an anomaly in and of itself. The powers they had displayed, even as they were still developing and growing, had been too much to simply ignore. They had been surprisingly polite in asking for a meeting.

“We don't need an empire of our own,” the gray-symbol one said, “We want to make a treaty, though, to make sure we don't wind up starting a war anyways.”

“What are your requests?” Yellow Diamond asked, leaning forward in her throne. Blue Pearl could see the young Yellow Pearl shivering in her slippers, the poor thing. She was unaccustomed to the tense atmosphere interspecies diplomacy carried. Perhaps it was the pale-haired human with the orange robes admiring her crafting? It wasn't the first time that someone new to the Diamond's court would spend some time visually inspecting the Pearls, seeing how they compared to the common batch given to mere officers and celebrated soldiers.

As the conversation and negotiation moved forward, Blue Pearl began to notice the orange-robed human's painted black lips moving. It was as if she was speaking too quietly to hear, Yellow Pearl's face somehow getting paler than usual. Blue Pearl had no idea what was going on, but she didn't like it.

\---

“ _Do not be afraid,”_ a faint voice whispered in her ear. Yellow Pearl would have jumped a mile high if it weren't for her training, staring directly at the weird organic creature in the line. Light purple vision spheres, like the skin of an Amethyst or an Iolite, boring holes into her own pale blue ones. How in the world could she be saying anything from so far away?

The creature smiled, her lips moving as if she was murmuring to herself, _“Don't speak aloud, if you want to respond. Just think what you want to say, and I'll hear you.”_

“ _Who are you?!”_ the Pearl asked harshly, gritting her teeth and trying not to say it with her mouth. She could see and hear her chuckle,

“ _My name is Rose Lalonde, Seer of Light. What's yours?”_

“ _Rose?”_   Yellow Pearl thought, grimacing just a hint, but brushed it off, _“Everyone calls me Pearl. If you want to be specific, I am Yellow Diamond's Pearl.”_

“ _Ah, I remember,”_ the soft voice spoke, _“Gems like to go by their gem type. That must get confusing if you're in a room full of your peers. Why the long face?”_

“ _Long what?”_

“ _You made a face in reference to my name. Is it because of Rose Quartz?”_

Any color on Yellow Pearl's face drained away at the question, and she gulped, _“Yes...”_

“ _Ah, is she still a sensitive topic? One would think after the negotiations with the Crystal Gems, you would be a little more...”_

“ _Calm?”_   Yellow Pearl thought back sardonically, _“We're gems. A few millenniums may be pretty long for you, but for us it's hardly a blink of a vision-sphere cover.”_

Rose outright laughed at this, one of her fellow humans taking notice. This one was the pale-haired male in the bright red clothing, with the long cape that seemed to be perpetually in motion. Yellow Pearl watched a brief, silent conversation between the two, not hearing a word they said. Even her Diamond took notice,

“What's so funny?”

“Nothing, your majesty,” Rose said aloud, her voice being noticeably duller and more monotonous than what Yellow Pearl heard whispering in her ear, “You certainly surround yourself with fascinating people.”

“What exactly is that supposed to mean?” Yellow Diamond asked, frustrated. Yellow Pearl had a feeling that wasn't going to be alleviated anytime soon, with the smile gracing Rose's face. The human in the bright blue clothing, the other leader, waved it off,

“Please don't mind her. Seers are prone to being a bit... dodgy at times.”

Yellow Diamond sighed, pressing onto the bridge of her nose, her Pearl loosening just a hint. She didn't suspect a thing. As the conversations picked up where they left off, Rose began doing her weird magical ventriloquist thing in Yellow Pearl's ear again,

“ _You have no idea how hilarious I found that.”_

“ _What?”_   Yellow Pearl thought back defensively. Rose's grin widened,

“ _How old we are cannot be measured in linear time. We've went back and forth so much in our world that our timeline is more of a time-Spirograph than a line. Nevertheless the memories we hold of our doomed counterparts and alternate universe selves. If I tried to add it all up, I'd be older than your universe.”_

“I...” Yellow Pearl was flabbergasted, and felt a nudge on her back. She jumped, and looked back, only to see her Diamond looking at her in confusion. Yellow Diamond whispered, trying not to draw any unnecessary attention,

“Pearl, are you all right?”

Yellow Pearl sucked in a deep breath she didn't need, and slowly let it out. She whispered back,

“I'm fine, My Diamond. Thank you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mainly how I imagine they'd act. I'll probably make an updated version when the Diamonds and their Pearls come back in canon.


	7. Journey

Leggy had known nothing but her crew. She emerged, got inspected, and was sent on her first - and now apparently last - mission in her incredibly short life. The little gem had not even the foggiest idea how to get back to her crew, after being sent out the airlock on that planet's moon. Instinctual fear kicked in quickly; what if she was crushed by asteroids?

Feeling hopeless and scared, the Ruby curled up in a tight little ball, with some hope that the position would serve to protect her exposed gem.

She almost didn't react when she bumped into something soft and... cloth-ey. The gem opened her eyes, getting an eye-full of what looked like green fabric stretched over a canvas of stars. Looking upwards, it seemed more apparent that this wasn't just some random piece of cloth floating by; it had somebody wearing it.

Correction: some _thing_. Ruby noted, sweating nervously, the sheer size of the figure. Her programming and data told her that it was perhaps nearly the size of the Diamonds themselves, maybe larger. The young gem could hardly tell where the monster ended and space began, with how its clothing matched the surrounding space so fluidly.

Ruby let out a shocked squeak when she felt a massive hand push up from beneath her, catching her balled-up form in the palm of one green claw. The hand lead her up to the face of the creature, and she curled up even more at the sight. Its head was bald and strange, and its face was unlike anything Ruby had ever seen. It was completely missing a scent sponge, instead having two large nostrils flat against its face. The hard part of its cheeks jutted out, marked with two glowing green circles, and the soft part seemed to be severely sunken in. Fangs coated the creature's jaws, matching the same deep green color as the rest of its exposed skin.

The young Ruby shook in her boots, begging quietly, “Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me...”

The sound of an oddly gentle chuckle jarred the gem, a soft voice cooing, “Now now, it's all right, little one.”

With her eyes pinched shut, the Ruby could only register that help had arrived. Jolting her head upwards, Ruby looked around frantically, “Who was that?! Please help!”

The creature chuffed, blowing a gust of thin air through the Ruby's hair, and she turned to look death in the face. Terrified and shaking, yes, but at least she would die facing it. A pair of lips had appeared on the creatures face, now obscuring a good portion of its teeth. It smiled, speaking in that same implacable accent,

“Do not be afraid, little one.”

“I – What? - Huh?!” Ruby was horribly confused. A claw from the hand that held her stroked her cheek carefully, which she realized had for whatever reason become wet. The Ruby looked up at the creature, “Um... What, are you?”

“My name is Calliope,” the creature said, smiling, “Would you like some help?”

“Ah, yeah!” the gem accepted readily, before backpedaling for a second when she remembered her manners, “Oh, um, I'm Ruby.”

“It's lovely to meet you, Ruby!” Calliope cheered, “Now, where is your party?”

“My what?”

“Your group. Rubies usually come in groups, no?”

Ruby nodded vigorously, shyly mumbling, “We got launched into space. I don't know where they are...”

“That's alright,” Calliope assured, “We can look for them.”

The alien tucked the gem into the front of her odd appearance modifier, which surprisingly hid more layers of fabric. Before she could ask why, Ruby felt the large body of Calliope jolt forwards, stars suddenly rushing past. It was as if she'd been violently flung into space, but when the alien's large body swiftly dodged and swiped away debris and asteroids, it was made clear that this was a controlled flight.

Struggling to turn around in the snug fabric, Ruby looked up to Calliope's head. Behind that, she saw a peak of what looked to be glowing white appendages on Calliope's back, disappearing behind her shoulders with every powerful thrust of motion. Ruby struggled to find the word, before blurting out,

“Are those wings?”

“Yes!” Calliope didn't look down, but she indulged the small gem's questioning.

“Why do you have so much appearance modifiers?”

“The outfit is called a tuxedo. Clothing isn't part of my body, so I need multiple layers just in case something gets ripped. Plus, I like the look.”

“Why do you sometimes have lips and sometimes don't?”

“I don't always need them.”

They went back and forth like this for possibly hours, soaring through space at a rate much faster and safer than Ruby's drifting. Ruby spotted a dot of a familiar shade of red out of the corner of her eye, “Over there!”

Calliope reached the dot in record timing, it being revealed to be Ruby. The one with her gem on her chest. Not unlike leg-Ruby, she had also been curled up and panicking (must be a Ruby thing...). Once again, the Ruby had curled up even tighter when Calliope caught her in her palm. Though, instead of begging, the elder Ruby seemed to reach for her gem. Leg-Ruby called out,

“Commander!”

The chest-Ruby's eyes shot up, “Newbie?”

“I'm okay! She's actually really nice!” leg-Ruby shouted from her little niche in the bigger alien's coat. Allowing Calliope to tuck her into the oddly patterned cloth, they continued on their journey. As the younger Ruby told the elder how she'd come by this mysterious and kind stranger, Calliope thought to herself,

“ _Ah, they really are something. I wonder how the Diamonds would react to see me like this, if their feisty foot soldiers curled up in terror at my very sight?”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you may have noticed, I did some tidying up around here. Enjoy!


	8. Trolley Problem

The Crystal Gems had gone out to run some errands, whatever the fuck that meant. Dave didn't really care; he was chill with just sitting back and not getting squawked at for spilling apple juice on the couch or whatever Pearl tended to say to him. As much as he adored the maternal attention he was getting, he didn't exactly feel comfortable with the fact that said maternal figure was surprisingly hot, when she wasn't acting like a mother hen.

Shaking his head to banish the wandering thoughts, the boy noticed Steven looking out from the window seat. He looked glum, which was a shocker compared to his often overly cheery disposition. Dave, who was slightly less emotionally inept than the average talking rock, tried to reach out,

“Hey.”

“Hi, Dave.”

“You look like a kicked puppy on a football field; what's wrong?”

Steven made a face that was somewhere between amused confusion and sadness, “Just thinking...”

“It's about your mom, right?” Dave stated, gesturing to the picture, “I could see you looking up there sometimes.”

Steven sighed, but smiled, “I wish I had sunglasses like yours or Garnet's.”

“Heh, maybe when slash if you learn to shapeshift clothes,” Dave shrugged, tilting his glasses, “But you can borrow mine for now, if you'd like. Be careful, these are one-of-a-kind.”

He held out the shades for Steven to take, the younger boy noticing the elder's eyes for the first time. Even though he'd seen the dark red eyes of Rubies and the lighter brick-colored iris of Garnet, Steven had never bore witness to the bright neon red that Dave had. They were so bright that they looked like they were glowing.

Dave, of course took notice. The first time he showed somebody his eyes, back on his home Earth, they'd called him a devil child. He sincerely hoped this wasn't the case with Steven, “Uh, dude...”

“Dave, you look so cool!” the kid had stars in his eyes, “You've got anime eyes!”

“Oh jegus no.”

“And you've got caterpillar eyebrows too!”

“Please stop.”

“Okay okay,” Steven tried to turn down the enthusiasm, “I never knew humans could get that kind of red in their eyes.”

“Meh, the entire Strilonde line's got freaky eye colors.”

“I thought it was just because Rose and Roxy might have partial albinism or something.”

“No, their eyesight is nearly perfect. They are part of our group's poor minority of people with 20/20 vision that don't constantly wear eyewear to seem like less of outcasts in our society. In order to fit in, you've got to keep your eyes covered, like those ankle length skirts in Amish communities. It's indecent to go without your glasses.”

“Oh hush,” Steven blew a raspberry at Dave's tangent, smiling all the same, “I was just saying.”

“Yeah, so, back to the whole 'your mom' thing,” Dave dragged the conversation, metaphorically kicking and screaming, back on track. Steven's face fell like a bowling ball being dropped from the Eiffel Tower, “What about it?”

“Is it about the recent revelation that she killed somebody?”

Steven was shocked at how... casually Dave said that, “Wha-? How can you say that?!”

“Dude, I think it'd be a good time to learn you a little lesson in literal life and death situations,” Dave took a deep breath, and continued with a hint of hesitation, “You have heard about our sessions, yes?”

“Yeah...”

“But we haven't said much about what happened inside the games, now did we?”

“No, you haven't.”

“You wanna know why?”

Steven gulped, and nodded. Dave looked ready to catch him if he fled, “Because the majority of us can be considered murderers.”

Steven gaped, and Dave quickly raised a hand to stop him, “But. It doesn't mean we don't feel bad about it. We also, for the most part, don't regret it, either.”

“But... If you feel bad about it, doesn't it mean you regret it?” Steven asked in confusion, before Dave shook his head. The older boy clarified,

“All the deaths that occurred in the games had a purpose, as terrible and nasty as they may be. I had to decapitate Dirk for a bit-” Steven gasped, but Dave kept going, “In order to kill two very _very_ dangerous men, who would have committed genocide on their own people over a silly dress code. Rose had wound up getting me and her killed in order to try and destroy the power source of one of our main enemies, only for us to wind up creating it. Eridan had been the one to have killed Feferi, and nearly killed Kanaya and Sollux. Kanaya killed Eridan, Sollux was mind-controlled into killing Aradia by Vriska, Gamzee killed Nepeta and Equius. Jade wound up getting me killed once, and Terezi got John killed in an alternate timeline and straight up killed Vriska in the main one. Meenah literally murdered all her friends, and in another lifetime our entire species.

“Really, the only ones of us who _haven't_ killed someone, directly or indirectly, consist of maybe a handful of us. And those were only the instances of us killing _each other;_  don't get me started on the deal with the Dersites, Prospitians, Leprechauns, and Cherubs.”

Steven was absolutely horrified. His hands shook, and his eyes were blown wide. Dave, without his glasses, couldn't hide the shamed look in his eye,

“We aren't proud of what we did. We're lucky as hell to have gotten a second chance in all of this. You wanna know why I'm telling you this?”

Steven gave the affirmative, and Dave explained, “We all learned something from that. We all feel terrible about what we did. Hell, some of us have even gotten suicidal over it. But, we can't erase it. We can't regret it, because in some lousy fucked up way, all that lead to us being here. In your living room, hanging out with you guys, finally being able to chill for more than five seconds without the looming threat of universal destruction and responsibility as the only living people we knew of hanging over our heads.

“We're guilty about it, but we don't regret it. Not when it gave us this.

“This,” Dave gestured to the room, “Is what your mom killed Pink Diamond for. If she's anything like what you guys tell me she is, she must have been guilty about it from the moment she pierced that stone. But I have zero doubts that she didn't regret it.”

“You all seem so nice,” Steven said somberly, and Dave nodded, “I know, we try. Sometimes, what you want personally comes last to what results in the best possible outcome. Rose had Garnet with her at the time; the best possible outcome that Garnet could have seen was probably what Rose saw as the hardest. She might be a hypocrite for denying Bismuth's weapon, but really, it was like a real life Trolley Problem.”

“Either one person dies, or many,” Steven followed with, eyes widening, “Man, your growing up experience seems a lot worse than mine. You didn't know if they were going to stay dead or not...”

“I don't think comparing pains is a good habit,” Dave said, “Makes you feel like a real tool for having your own terrible experiences, even though you're a person, and you have a right to your own emotions.”

“Agreed,” Steven said, taking a deep breath, “So, um, why did you guys do all that, anyways?”

“That, my friend, is a question to ask themselves,” Dave said, getting up from his seat, “Now, don't tell them I told you this, right? They might get mad at me for exposing you to all this.”

“Pinky swear!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A talk I think Steven is in need of. Black and white thinking is going to be the downfall of the poor boy, I just know it.


	9. Home

“What was Alternia like?”

Each time Steven asked, he could have sworn the trolls had flinched. Their answers were all different; every one some mixture of angry, wistful, and sometimes even homesick. It was almost as if he'd asked the gems about Homeworld, but it was still not the same. At least Homeworld had not been designed by some malicious god-like creature to kill the weak, only to re-purpose them.

Karkat's response was a given: “The place was a death trap, what do you expect? I am a mutant-blood, if it weren't for my paranoid delusions, I'd be deader than disco.”

Aradia's was a bit strange: “I mostly lived by myself. There was a lot of room to explore, in the countryside where I lived. You never knew what you'd find in the houses of the culled, recent and not so recently. Their ghosts were even more interesting.”

Tavros was hesitant: “I-it was okay, when people weren't trying to kill you. We had games and stuff, so it wasn't _all_ bad. I mean, I got crippled for a while, and that would have inevitably killed me one way or another, but it wasn't _entirely_ bad.”

Sollux seemed indecisive: “It was pretty cool half the time, and total shit the rest of the way. I lived in a hivestem with a bunch of morons living underneath me, so they were a pain in the butt. On the other hand, Aradia was there, and I had my bees. So, I guess it was... Okay. I think that's a good midpoint. What can you expect? All I'd ever known was a world that was literally out to get me, it wasn't as if I had anything to compare it to.”

Nepeta was excited: “Oh it was great! I lived in a cave with my lusus, Pounce De Leon, and we went hunting efurry night, and slept all day! Sometimes we'd go and see how Equius was doing, because he can't really take furry good care of himself without his lusus. I mean, the hunting was messy, and the cave smelled like blood pretty much all the time, but I didn't have any neighbors or anything. The worst memories I have are maybe the day we went into the Medium.”

Kanaya was thoughtful: “Well, my life on Alternia was rather peaceful. Besides the frequent daytime attacks by the hordes of undead, I spent most of my days tending to the garden, designing and making clothing, and spending some quality time with my lusus. She was a virgin mother grub, one of the creatures that assist in the Troll life-cycle. My destiny, as I had known it at the time, had essentially locked me onto Alternia as my caste was expected to; jade-bloods are very rare, and our 'purpose' in the hemocaste was to help keep the mother grubs content and healthy. Almost like your human maternity nurses, I suppose. It's rather curious; you say the others had scarcely made contact with any trolls besides each other prior to the game? It was probably made that way. Can't have the ones responsible for making a new universe be tied down by their inconsequential past.”

Terezi grinned brokenly: “Ah Alternia; how do I describe it? 2/10, would not recommend. Not the kind of place to raise your grubs; neighbors and potential friends died like flies out there. My lusus was stuck in her egg most of the time, so she couldn't really block me from seeing what happened to the unlucky wigglers. I wound up getting blinded by our planet's scorching red sun, so you can see why we're a nocturnal race. The colors were delicious, though, it had that going for it. The leaves on the tree I lived in were cotton candy pink, the bark a nice hint of blueberry-mint, and the sky during the day smelled a bit like chili peppers. Yeah, that's why I keep the cloth on my face all the time. Figured I may as well keep my sense of smell as is; it's a pretty good reminder of home, don't you think?”

Vriska scoffed at the question: “Meh, it was alright I guess. My lusus was reeeeaaaally needy, you know? She was a spider, maybe the size of this house? I had a massive castle, buttloads of loot from FLARPing campaigns, and I lived next door to Equius. He was sweaty and weird as he is now, though I _think_ he might be learning to reel it in a little. Oh, right, back to Alternia. I dunno, my mom kind of ate other troll grubs? Woah woah, easy there kid, it wasn't that bad. I guess? … Okay, it sucked major shameglobes, but it had its high points sometimes. I got to play with Terezi, at least. That was something- We're working on it!”

Equius puffed up a bit with pride: “Alternia was mighty in its heyday. Expanses of blue-green fields, massive hoofbeasts, and of course, many respectable trolls like myself. The occasional grievance over territory was a given; the thousands of eggs produced by the mother grubs were not just there for show. I had my lusus, Aurthour. He was a fine butler: loyal, sturdy, and very strong. Of course, you have likely heard the many downsides by now; we scarcely had any more friends besides each other, but really, most of us would not be able to handle many more than five people in one block.”

Gamzee looked out to the ocean: “Meh, it wasn't as cool as Beach City. Never had nobody to hang out with in person, and my old goat wasn't much better. Fucker was never there for me, always out to sea and doin' his own thing. My mothefucking self went to the Mirthful Messiahs for guidance, but it kinda got lobbed in my fucking face for that. Your carnivals are hella better than anythin' on that old rock, and nobody has to die for the fun to start! No nightmares making you sleep in toxin, places of mirth and happiness where nobody has to shed even a drop of blood if they don' want to? Sign me the fuck up!”

Eridan stiffened: “Meh, it wwas pretty lame. Wwe had a lot of really cool history, but I don' think you givve a crap about that, do you? My lusus wwas pretty awwesome, compared to some of our group's pathetic excuses for custodians. He wwas a skyhorse, a bit like one of your Earth seahorses, but he could fly and wwas about as big as a pony. Yeah, he wwas that fuckin' awwesome. My hivve wwas a sunken ship; in hindsight I could'vve chosen a more stable place to settle... I got to see Fef all the time, since she had me help her out wwith feedin' her lusus. It sucked, but hey, it was a good idea at the time, and it's not as if I could say no to the fuckin' Heiress.”

Feferi smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes: “I lived in a castle at the bottom of the ocean. I had a room with dozens of these little cages, where I'd put cuttlefish in for their own safety. They usually got out eventually, but it was harmless fun, and I loved them anyways. But that's not what you're reely curious about, huh? I think you know plenty about my lusus. Despite how much everyone feared her, she never really meant any harm! She was probably the only one who could protect me from anything the Condesce would send to kill me. I could hear how much she suffered when she was hungry, and she couldn't help how big she was! I just wish it hadn't come to that...”

Steven scarcely knew how to respond to all these conflicting and outright weird answers. All these older kids, ones who were just as much like him and yet so very different, had gone through a sort of lifestyle he both would not wish upon even his greatest enemies and yet could not bring himself to criticism. It wasn't his place to judge them; they had essentially been born into it, and it had been designed to make them the way they are.

He remembered Peridot's words, “It's hard, not having feelings for the place you came from.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I got a tad carried away with the ones following Kanaya. I suppose this could be considered a character study?


	10. Dreamworld

Steven had no idea where he was, besides the obvious fact that this was a dream. Either that, or he had somehow found himself in what only could have been Opal's room in the Temple. The house he was standing on was settled on an island of white rocks and sand. The ocean around it seemed to have this iridescent film covering the surface, like the surface of a bubble. Soft yellow clouds sprinkled rainbow-colored water in sheets, allowing rays on sunlight to peek in between each one.

It was beautiful, if incredibly alien as well. Steven settled it on being a dream once he recalled going to bed earlier, and he wondered who had such an incredible imagination to make such a place. A soft voice jolted out of his thoughts,

“Mind telling me why you're trespassing on my Land?”

Steven blinked, turning to see Rose Lalonde, out of her robes and in a very plain outfit of a white skirt and a shirt with that purple octopus thing on it. She gave him a quizzical look, before blinking in realization, “Oh, right, dreamworld, duh.”

“Well, it's a very nice dream!” Steven smiled, “I didn't know you liked so many colors...”

“I didn't come up with this place. This was one of the dwarf planets constructed by the game, in this case this would be the Land of Light and Rain. Lolar for short.”

“Oh, wow,” Steven said, those little stars peaking in his eyes again, “Did it make a planet for everyone?”

Rose nodded, “Yes. I can't name them all, but I can list a few. John had the Land of Wind and Shade, Jade the Land of Frost and Frogs, Dave the Land of Heat and Clockwork, Karkat Pulse and Haze, Kanaya Rays and Frogs... There are many more, but that's quite tedious.”

“So, everyone got a little planet to call their own? That sounds cool.”

Steven looked around some more, noting the turtle shells hanging in the air and the emptiness of the waters, “Um, was it always this empty?”

“More or less,” Rose shrugged, “Besides the monsters, there were my consorts. Little pink turtles, I think. The ocean had been emptied of life by my Denizen, Cetus, whom I was supposed to fight before I decided to try and break the game.”

“Why did you want to break the game?”

“Because it was inherently flawed, and by that point it was clear our session was doomed to fail since before its beginning.”

Swirls of light coalesced into a picture between the two, and manifested into an image of two galaxies. Rose explained, “These are the two universes unto which the trolls and my own group had been made for. Technically, none of us were born within our home universes.”

Two smaller congregations of planets appeared above the universes, with meteorites shooting from the asteroid belts onto two spiraling arms of the galaxies, “They were cloned from alternate versions of our past selves, the Alpha batches. That includes the elder trolls, Dirk, Roxy, Jane, and Jake. They are called Paradox Clones. The likes of myself and the trolls were made as Paradox Offspring. Mixing the ectoslime, or genetic material from two or more individuals to create another without the use of a womb or egg. I suppose the same could be applied to gems if my theories are correct, but they don't bend the rules of Paradox Space just to make sure that they exist in the first place.

“Confused yet?”

Steven nodded, and Rose sighed, “Roxy, Dirk, Jane, Jake, and the older troll kids are literally clones of themselves. John, Jade, Dave, the younger trolls, and myself are all their children.”

Steven gasped, “So you're all, like, a big family?! But you're the same age...”

“None of us were born naturally, Steven,” Rose shook her head, smiling at the boy's naivete, “The Alpha children were cloned from their future selves, hence why they are Paradox Clones. The Beta children were made from the material collected during the Alphas' creation. The process involved slime, Steven, and when it was mixed, it equated to the crossing of genes from parents. The trolls' ectobiological parents cannot be traced, as the Betas share about 70-80% of their Alpha counterparts' DNA, but the Beta humans can be traced.”

“Wow, your familial dynamic must me so complicated,” Steven said, awed, “Who are your parents?”

“Mine and Dave's Ecto-parents are Dirk and Roxy, surprise surprise. Jade and John are from Jane and Jake.”

“That makes total sense! I mean, you and Dave have white hair – which is actually kind of weird for your age – and so do Dirk and Roxy! But, where did the um?” He pointed to his eye, and Rose giggled,

“Considering how unusual the colors are, we don't really know the genetics behind orchid or red eyes. I doubt your world's scientific community could help; the colors don't exist here, and I think they'd be more interested in our 'ambiguous' race of human.”

“Yeah, I didn't want to be the jerk who asks that,” Steven chuckled nervously, scratching his head, “I wasn't sure that humans could come that pale.”

“It's alright,” Rose said dismissively, “It's not something we really care much about anyways.”

Steven let himself dip a toe into the waters, smiling at the shimmering colors that reflected of the resulting ripples. He asked, “Are all the worlds this pretty?”

“It depends on one's tastes, I suppose. Jane's world is full of crypts and dead salamanders, Dirk's has a poisonous atmosphere, Gamzee's is full of bright flashing colors and nightmare circus tents, and so on and so forth. They weren't designed for beauty, but for challenge.”

“Oh, so it's more like a game level?”

“I suppose so. Our homes are transported to our respective planets once we reached the Medium, and from there we are supposed to finish our quest and reach a point where we can defeat the Black King and Queen. Upon destroying their ring and scepter, and of course ensuring the creation of the Genesis Frog, we are rewarded. At least, best case scenario.”

“And then the thing with... Jack Noir, right?” Steven said uncertainly, Rose nodded, and Steven continued, “That's got to suck. Literally being made for that game.”

“Probably not any worse than being made to fight in a massive planetary war, or stop said war,” Rose shrugged, “Of all the people to have been literally made with a purpose, it always has to be the hardest ones. We should form a committee.”

“Hehe, yeah.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, instead of assigning specific real life races for the human kids, I'm just making them their own thing. They look like they're all kind of albino, like in canon, though not always with white features. I intend on drawing them soon, perhaps when my computer begins behaving again.


	11. Bismuth Intervention

It was clear that the “Land of Talking Rocks and Weird Geography,” as Jade called it, was still at an unacceptable threat level, even after the neutralization of The Cluster. Steven had released an old member of Rose Quartz's rebellion from her mysterious imprisonment, and the visions of the two functional Seers from the old universes were starting to look a little bleak for their liking.

Kankri's visions were borderline useless, and Garnet's visions weren't always as dependable as the lot wished. For these reasons, Rose and Terezi decided to form a “Seers' Council” in hopes of steering the lot of them into an at least decent future. Kankri was mostly there for show, and Garnet refused on the principle that she was already busy as a member of the Crystal Gems.

First order of business, deal with Bismuth.

“Bismuth, would you mind speaking with us for a moment?” Rose asked, and patted a seat on the couch by the newly formed Council. Bismuth sat down, sinking the cushions with her weight, and asked,

“What's this about?”

“As you probably already know, the Crystal Gems have gained quite a few new allies recently,” Rose began, “Even after losing the majority of your forces, the rebellion is still continuing, and we understand that you wish to continue with your plans from the time when Rose was still around.”

“Hey, you're right here!” Bismuth laughed, but noting the sober looks the three young organic beings were giving her, she let it die down with a cough.

“So, yeah, what about it?”

“Garnet's not the only one with future-seeing powers, now. You know that, right?” Terezi asked her.

“Really? Who?” Bismuth asked, genuinely surprised, “Wait wait, let me guess, it's you guys?”

“Me and Terezi, yes.” Rose nodded, and gestured to Kankri. “He can only see the past, and he's kind of on a no-speaking rule at the moment.”

“Why? What did he do?”

“If he starts, he'll never shut up,” Terezi said plainly.

Kankri, of course, was just pouting on the corner seat, with his mouth ducktaped shut.

“Alright, so, you guys want to steer me in the right direction, huh? Okay, lay it on me,” Bismuth said.

“Alright, don't try to use the Breaking Point as a first resort,” Rose said, and Bismuth's face immediately fell into a look of suspicion.

“So you guys can see that much. Why not?”

“Though we at a tenuous peace right now, it wouldn't be the best idea to start another war,” Rose explained, “We know all the awful things they've done to you and your people, but now is a terrible time to start pushing the Diamonds' buttons.”

“If you actually knew, you'd agree with me.”

“Bismuth, Pink Diamond has been shattered,” Terezi told her, “We don't know how she did it, but everyone's thinking Rose Quartz did it. If they find Steven, they're going to kill him, regardless of the fact he doesn't have her memories.”

Bismuth was at a loss for words. Did Rose, the gem Rose, actually try out one of her ideas? If so, why the hell did she poof Bismuth and hide her away for 6000 years? Bismuth let out a humorless laugh,

“Damn, didn't think she had it in her...”

“Again, we have no idea how she could have done it,” Terezi said, “I mean, you'd think Pink Diamond would have a pretty huge guard and a bunch of seers of her own to protect her. But that's beside the point.”

“You really don't want to trigger the Diamonds right now,” Rose said, quickly raising a hand to keep Kankri from removing his tape to go into one of his tirades.

However, when his eyes began to glow red and well up with a fluid that was much too opaque to only be troll tears, Terezi ripped the tape from his mouth.

“Woah, is he okay?” Bismuth asked, standing up, ready to do... something. She was a little hesitant to take this alien kid to a human healer, as she was certain the last thing he needed was more of that bright red fluid drained from him by leeches, but the human Rose shook her head.

“He's having a past vision, it seems,” she explained.

Kankri yelped at having what little facial hair he was growing ripped out with tape, but he fell into a trance-like state too quickly to start scolding Terezi for it.

The Seer of Blood began to speak, “Autumn, 4104 BC. Bismuth proposed a solution to Homeworld's ever growing pressure on the rebellion. A weapon that instantaneously shatters gems, the Breaking Point. Should the rebellion have gone through with her plan, key members of the rebellion would have been caught on their way to Pink Diamond and Blue Diamond's respective palanquins, and taken to trial and executed for attempted murder of the Diamonds, in the winter of 4001 BC. The rest of the rebellion would have followed suit.

“Should Rose Quartz have refused Bismuth's plan, two things could have happened. One, Bismuth would have shattered Rose Quartz and taken control of the rebellion, while eliminating any competition in the form of shattering Pearl and Garnet. The end result would be capture and shattering of the rebellion's leaders, in the autumn of 3905 BC. Two, if Bismuth did not shatter Rose Quartz, she would have fled the main rebellion and begun building her own from gems who agreed with her shatter-first-ask-questions-later tactics. This would have caused a rift to form in the rebellion, weakening it, and giving the Diamond Authority a chance to eliminate it before any of the Diamonds were even risked.

“Had Rose Quartz released Bismuth prior to Steven's creation, she would have eventually destroyed Rose Quartz, in turn allowing the Cluster to destroy the Earth before Rose Quartz's heir could stop it. Bismuth herself would have been shattered when the three Homeworld gems arrived on Earth, by the Jasper, in retaliation for attempting to shatter the Lapis Lazuli for going back to Homeworld after releasing her.”

“Man, he really does like to hear himself talk,” Bismuth commented, after Kankri became to come down from the trance.

“Ow, my head...” The least powerful of the Council rubbed his head, and Terezi helped him lay down by the windowsill.

“You aren't used to the Seeing thing just yet; you might want to sleep off that headache,” Rose told him, smiling, “You did a good job, though. We're very proud of you.”

“Does seeing the future- er, past, hurt?” Bismuth asked, “Or is it just him?”

“Depends on the Seer,” Rose shrugged, “Mine and Terezi's were just foggy, like regular thoughts but with more... substance. His are more turbulent, as if fate's pouring an infodump into his brain and making him bleed from his tear ducts. I'm not sure if it's got something to so with Kankri being a Blood player, him being a male, or him being from a doomed session and never getting any assistance with his powers as they developed.”

“It kind of fits; Kankri's a walking info-dump if you don't know how to shut him up,” Terezi shrugged, making her way back to the couch.

“So, that's what would have happened if I didn't get stuck in a bubble and released by Steven,” Bismuth stated morosely, “I'd be dead, and so would this planet.”

“And we're here to keep that from happening,” Rose said.

“I'm just having some trouble wrapping my head around this. If me going after the Diamonds would have failed, why did Rose manage to do it?”

“I dunno,” Terezi said, shrugging, “Maybe she was framed. The only one of us who might be able to find out is Kankri, but he's passed out from looking at- what? Four different timelines? And he's pretty awful at controlling his past visions. Besides, he usually needs somebody directly involved in the action to see specific events, or at least related to somebody who was, hence the Blood part.”

“And you guys don't want me to risk getting the lot of us killed,” Bismuth stated.

“That's about the gist of it, yes,” Rose said.

“So... What do you want me to do?”

“Keep the Breaking Point as a last resort, not a first, for starters,” Terezi instructed, “Proposing the idea to Steven, who's more or less a pacifist raised during peacetime, would end with either you bubbled again, or Steven being killed by you and you being subsequently killed by the Crystal Gems for killing him.”

“What? I would not!” Bismuth said defensively.

“Didn't you almost kill Rose Quartz for not going with your plan?” Rose asked.

Bismuth opened her mouth to respond, but closed it again and sighed.

“We're the last people to ask for advice on how to control homicidal desires, but at the very least try to remember what the Seer of Blood said,” Terezi said, “If killing them isn't going to work, maybe something else will.”

“Alright.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn it's been forever since I've updated this. Finally got some peace and quiet at home, so I've been brainstorming.


End file.
